Love Letter to Lost

If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone. – Jack Shephard

Dear Readers,

After tonight, we will no longer be Lost.

Journey with me on some random tangents as I mull over what for me has been the only passionate love affair I’ve ever had with television. As I sit here, I’m listening to the amazing Michael Giacchino’s score permeate my senses. The score was its own character in the show… an emotional tapestry that wove together partings and reunions, births and deaths, and the soul of the Island itself ( try this )



Before Lost, I wasn’t a big “tv person” – in fact I’m still not. I’ve only ever owned a tv to watch movies and football. There are a few shows I catch, some that even have real emotional heft, but none that pulled forth the fervent joy and intellectual pursuit as Lost has done. My best bud Matt and I clued into Lost around the same time, hearing about this new show produced by “that guy who did Alias” and it came across as some weird mix of Survivor and X-Files. But as I read about it in the summer of ’04, something about it sparked my interest. I clearly remember telling my parents that this was a show we needed to see. I can still recall the beauty of the cinematography, especially in those early days when everything in the show was white sands, blue water, green raining jungles.

Lost became a family affair for us. For the first time since childhood, this was a show around which my parents and I rallied. We all took something different out of the show, but our individual interests merged into one amazing adventure week after week. My mother loved the characters and the drama of the show. She’s always had an unexpectedly fine eye for direction, writing, and character motivation, and she has offered some very distinct insights into the show over the years, especially in this last weird-even-by-Lost-standards season. My dad is the sci-fi geek of the family and he gleefully helped explain some of the heavy-handed science and time travel. He often travels for work, and in the weeks when he was away the commercial breaks were spent in high-speed texting. While I appreciated the sci-fi aspects, I enjoyed much more the long discussions on philosophy and theology the show inspired. Especially the theology.

For Lost was an oddly spiritual experience. In today’s increasingly irreligious climate, Lost was bold about getting into religion’s face. Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, Jewish mysticism and Christianity all had a role in the Lost world. The constantly running theme of the show is the argument of Faith vs. Science. Even the timing this entire last season has been thought to have some spiritual significance, coordinating around the Easter season, and ending on Pentecost Sunday.

Beyond the family, there was a vast feeling of community with Lost. When a Lost fan met a stranger, it was always a matter of time before he would slip in a comment about Lost, just to gauge how the other person felt about the show. When you realized that a stranger and yourself both watched the show, you were strangers no longer. You suddenly knew this person, who they were and what they were about. There was an instant bond created just by being Lost fans. I was fortunate that most of my closest friends were fans as well, with many long phone conversations and analysis/therapy sessions on Facebook taking place immediately following each episode.

Then there is Jeff Jensen, aka “Doc Jensen”, the Lost Supremo of Entertainment Weekly. Over the last few years I’m not sure which I have enjoyed more, the episodes or Jensen’s recaps. I had never read tv recaps… I don’t think I even knew they existed before Lost, and I can’t remember now what led me to Jensen’s crazy theories and book lists. But once I found him, I was hooked. He is my kind of geek. And it wasn’t always just about Lost. His regular readers were let in on his own personal struggles as his wife fought cancer. Lost became an escape valve for him when she was sick, and later we were allowed to share his joy at her remission. I’ve always wanted to watch an episode of Lost with Jensen, in real time. That won’t happen, but I can’t wait to see what he has to say about the finale… and I’m hoping years from now he will still be making theories and leading his readers down the occasional rabbit-hole of writings by Lewis, Tolstoy, King, and Locke. If I am unsure of whether I looked forward to Lost or Jensen more each week, I definitely know who I will miss the most when it’s all over. Jensen is the good friend I never met with whom I will never again have a one-sided conversation with on Lost loopiness.

A friend of mine just informed me this weekend that he had started watching Lost for the first time. In a way I envy the fact that he will be able to zip along at warp speed, with no delay in moving ahead as fast as he desires. But… given the choice, I would have watched it exactly as I did. Appreciating the fan community, as we all awaited the start of each new season with baited breath and heavy anticipation. Agonizing together over the meaning of a book title, or the significance of a line that in any other show would have been meaningless. Searching for Easter Eggs. Watching the sometimes hilarious Totally Lost with Jeff Jensen, Dan Snierson, and Pig E. Vil. Listening to Lost podcasts with Lindelof and Cuse as they mercilessly tease spoilers.

Like many fans I almost gave up during season three, a notoriously rocky season for the show. I remember telling my mother that if the season didn’t finish well, I was done (she was horrified at this proclamation…she had more faith). But as Lost fans know, the ending of season three was the single most important game changer for the entire show (maybe in tv history), and completely altered how we would ever see the show again. I’m glad I saw it through. Lost has been more than a tv show for me. I’ve read more books because of Lost than I ever did in college. It’s made me think about aspects of my faith that never would have come to my mind otherwise. And it’s given lush nourishment to my imagination for years to come.

So thank you J.J. Abrams, Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof, Jack Bender, Michael Giacchino, the crew, the cast and everyone behind the making of a show that fired the imagination, and made its watchers think and argue and feel. I don’t care if I get all the answers, that’s not what the show is about for me. The show is about the characters, the power of love, the necessity of forgiveness, and the role of the family – especially parents. I want an ending that is true to the heart of the story and the characters. While I want a complete ending tonight…

I also want to go out believing that, somehow, the Island isn’t done with us yet.